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I just had dinner with my beautiful in-laws and great-grandma tonight, they were concerned for me, as my blogs have been heavy….I only write, I realize, when I am overwhelmed with emotions….

I was thinking about it today, I am okay about being accused of certain things, like being outspoken, strong, emotional, even rebellious…all of those I can accept, some I need to take to the Cross and have adjusted.
  One thing I will not tolerate is the label of “fake or phony”…think what you will of me, judge me as you want, but KNOW I will always be honest.
  I have been quoted for this statement, “you can’t be healed if you can’t be REAL”…so I guess my blogs are authentic, if nothing else.

So, tonight Gary and I walk into our home, and a full on “NERF’ gun war is underway…all four boys, totally engrossed in the moment, the battle and the victory…our oldest son Tyler running through the house in his boxer shorts and slippers, dodging the dreaded “bullets” from the “gun”  of our four year old Noah, (decked out in his own batman boxers, cool sunglasses and “deadly weapon”)…. the girls are finishing home work, quiet and appearing to be innocent, they are after all the little ladies amist the loud brothers….Michael is showing me his new web site, all about him and Swaziland, and charming me with, “you look beautiful tonight, mommy”….Caleb is obsessing over Landon’s birthday party tomorrow, he just can’t wait!

Gary and I just laugh, smile and start herding people to showers and eventually their beds.
  We pretend that we are irritated that they are so wild….but in truth, we are loving every moment of them, with all their personalities…so full of life…

This is it! The everyday, the every breath, even the madness that we cannot take for granted…
Life is truly beautiful, if you chose to truly live it.
  It is the little things, like tonight that I will never forget, that I will always cherish…These are the moments I will miss the most when my children are grown and on their own, these are the stories I will tell their children, years from now.

How blessed can one women be?
                                                                                     
Black kids Christmas 2005 in the mess

6 responses to “Wow, don’t mean to be so heavy,”

  1. Lisa,

    Thank you for sharing your pain, I really appreciate hearing your story and your heart. I love you and can’t wait to meet you!:)

  2. “Children are a blessing from the Lord,” aren’t they? I think you need to add a few more Swazi kids to the mix. What kind of a Nerf gun war would that be?!! 🙂

  3. To this moment, I have read each entry in silence…awaiting the moment having searched each blog entry and then processing each in the light of who I know both of you to be….the real deal.

    I so desire to hear about the greater things…the fruit of you being His hand extended…reaching out to the oppressed… the orphan.

    The Church has failed…true repentance and revival are in brokeness…a fragrance in that which has been crushed…I know of each of your journey’s…long standing…a true broken and contrite heart…those who have been crushed in spirit.

    And so it is time for me to come along side you…yes, I have been praying…I do understand loss and the pain of knowing Him in the fellowship of His suffering… Please arrange a time I can meet with you both to prepare my heart for the level of financial commitment to come.

  4. Lisa,

    Nicole has shared a few of your blogs with me and I have truly enjoyed reading them. It was a pleasure meeting you and your family at Breckenridge Ski Lodge. I, too, can identify with raising boys; my oldest just turned 18 and I am cherishing every moment we spend together, as I know he will soon be on his way going through the journey of his adult life.

    Thank you for sharing your story.