The cost of love?

Being a mother teaches you the cost of love like no other relationship can.  There is something so strong about maternal instinct it can overpower the rest of who you are.  To love and protect our young is innate….it is the essence of humanity.  My journey as a mother started 16 years ago.  I have been blessed to bring 3 children into this world by carrying them in my womb. I have also been blessed to raise 3 boys that I did not give birth to.  I have been taken back at my deep love for these young men.  They have called me “mommy” since the 3rd month I was in there lives.  Our bond was instant…it was spiritual.  They were hurting and scared, and my heart connected with theirs.  I could not love them more had I known them since their conception, to me my children are my children, and there is no separation.

What is the cost of giving our hearts away to those who could take it and run?  Those who have different DNA, those who have torn loyalty because of their origin of birth.  What risk do we take by surrendering all, knowing rejection on some level is a very real possibility?  How do you love again when love has been torn from you, with no warning, part of your flesh ripped away?  How do you trust we you have been deceived.  The grief and pain of life can rush in like a flood and try to drown our soul.  How do you trust yourself when you have been a fool?

These have been my questions since we arrived back home from
Africa
.  Something about the reality of life there has caused
me to go very deep with my own pain and fears.  This is an uncomfortable place, yet it must be necessary for me to move forward to what God is calling me to.  Once again I must go deeper in Him and die more to me.  Me and all my un-forgiveness, my grief and my fears of the future.

The cost of love is loving HIM so much that NOTHING is worth holding on to if it keeps us from HIM.  The cost is loving His people more than our lives or our comfort…the cost is loving all His children the way I love all of mine.  It does not matter were they came from, it does not matter if they reject me, it does not matter if they understand the depth of sacrifice I make for them…it matters simply that I love them, more than anything.

These are our incredible babies… I learn from them everyday and am humbled to share in the responsibility’s for each of thier lives!

Thank you, Tyler, Alexis, Emily, Michael, Caleb and Noah, I love you.