missing Africa

I cannot sleep, I have been lying in bed praying, not just for the ones I love, but for the ones He loves.
  My heart has been aching since we arrived back in the
US
… I am not the same, and even those closest to me do not understand.
  Everything has changed, I have seen the devastation and the heartache, and I cannot forget.
  It is very lonely to feel this way.
 My children carry this same burden, and only one of them has seen it.
  Everyday our kids ask “how much longer until we can leave?”
  They are focused and working hard to be prepared for a different life and culture.
  Most importantly they have stepped up their prayer life.
  They are in the Word, studying everyday. We want to be there, with the people, not for us, maybe not even for them.
  I think it is because the Spirit of God is among the poor and the hurting.
  It is harder to sense His presence here; we are so comfortable, and filled with distractions.
  At any moment in most American homes there are several computers and big screen TV running.
  What is left of our families are plugged into I pods and tuned out to each other, and even more devastating, tuned out to the voice of God.
  Is it any wonder we do not see the dead raised here, or the sick healed?
  We do not even pray, we can get a pill for anything we want, we can numb anything we do not want to feel.
  Is that what we were created for?
  The more stuff we have, the more we have to manage, the bigger the mortgage the harder we have to work to make the payments, the less time we have for PEOPLE! The less time we have to LIVE.
 

In places like
Africa
, God is their only hope.
  They are happy with less, they worship for hours, and they laugh much deeper.
  It seems we have lost our REAL joy…we are so busy surviving, and striving.

I don’t want my children to just live, I want them to give their lives away…that is what we were created for.
  That is the “purpose “that the world is looking for.

Today I was asked again, “are you sure you want to go?”… 
I have never been more sure of anything in my life!