Why I’ll go… again!

Why I’ll go…again.

I am a Baptist girl from the Midwest who didn’t even have a passport until I was 32 years old.

I was raised around a few concepts: follow the ten commandments, get married, have babies, stay married, stay in the same job till you are old…move to Florida, play golf, die.

Pretty simple.

Nowhere in this plan was there a clause for things like; find yourself widowed at 25, be a single mom for 5 years, marry a man that does NOT believe in your Midwest mentality, raise 6 children, have lots of different jobs, live in Africa, bury your son, survive his death…and now;

Move to Spain.

It would be easier to stay in Colorado, keep hosting every holiday, take care of our aging parents, and be there for my kids, even though they are adults now. Technically they don’t need me, but nothing in me wants to be away from them.  They were a pain in the butt during the teenage years, and now they have evolved into the most amazing fabulous grownups.  They are my best friends and I am pretty crazy about them.

But I am leaving them.

I don’t know why but something in me KNOWS there is something more.  It may sound glamorous and brave, or maybe I sound like a whiney martyr. And maybe I am. One thing I am sure of, I am no rookie at this crazy life I signed up for.

I know there is a cost.

The thing is: I don’t want to pay the cost.  I don’t want to lose any more children; I never want to be a widow again.  I don’t want anything to happen to the ones I love.  I don’t want to be in pain, physically, emotionally or spiritually.

Ever Again.

As much I really like my kids, I also really like YOURS too. In fact I have a deep love for all the young humans. I see a generation of addicted, broken, depressed, suicidal kids.  But looks can be deceiving.   I believe this generation holds the most amazing, brave, intelligent and creative people the world has ever seen.

I believe the war over the hearts and minds of the millennial exists because the dark side is scared to death of them.  I don’t want to preach to them, I don’t want to tell them they are wrong. I do not want to change them;

I just want to love them.

I am not giving up on these young ones; I am fighting harder than ever to find the remnant that will bring the Kingdom of God to earth.

So…I am going again.

No matter what the cost.

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