What makes a marriage last?

Gary and I just celebrated six years of marriage.  

I love our anniversaries more than any other celebration of the year. We have celebrated in Hawaii, Napa Valley, Aspen, Vail, and Africa.  Thanks to my creative and fabulous husband, every anniversary has been more fun, more romantic, more intimate than the year before. One year, an emergency with our kids cut short our planned celebration, but we just rolled with it and celebrated 15 days later. It was much more low key by then, but we had a blast together. I never take my marriage for granted because I know everyday is a miracle from God.

 My in-laws have been married for 48 years and my parents will celebrate 40 years in June! I love that my children have this legacy of two sets of living grandparents all still married and going strong. Something unheard of in our modern society. These are great success stories, but not perfect or flawless romances. If you combined my marriage and the marriages of my two sets of parents it would read more like a horror story than a love story. You have sickness, death, miscarriages, birth defects, unwed pregnancies, poverty, riches and then poverty again. There are lost jobs, lost cars and houses, children and grandchildren that have broken our hearts, pain, depression, and so on. None of us knew the depth of commitment we would be required to prove, yet we still stand stronger than ever, not only married but happily married, committed, devoted, till death do us part! 

Why have our parents survived, and why will we? Certainly not because life is like a honeymoon, and not because we have perfect spouses or are perfect people. No, it is deeper and less romantic than that. It is because of hard work. It is a little thing called covenant. It is not a contract or simple legal agreement. It is a commitment that requires all of who we are, body, soul and spirit, yet can not be limited to who we are. It is dying to ourselves and living for someone else. It is laying down our ‘rights’ and pressing forward to the same goal together. It is a commitment to another human that becomes flesh of your flesh and a promise to God. Gary and I know that if the enemy can take our marriage he can get to our kids, and our grandchildren. So we have to be a priority. We have to take our time alone together, in prayer, speaking life to each other apart from friends, family and yes, even our kids. We have to remember our union together with the Lord is the stability of our family. 

Be selfish over your marriage. It is the only hope we have. Be affectionate, be kind and love your spouse more than yourself! Other than God, nothing should come before your spouse. That’s right, put those kids to bed early, lock your door and focus on the one you fell in love with in the first place.

We can all achieve “till death do us part” if we make it a priority.