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To my kids across the world, and the ones at the breakfast table…

 My heart is heavy every time I talk to Gary; he is in Hong Kong debriefing our team. I first met these kids at training camp in Georgia in August. Their eyes were huge with wonder, and slightly intimidated by Gary (no one is ever intimidated by me!) We got to spend a week with them in Manila in September; they sat in the heat, and respectfully listened to hours of teaching. Without sounding too dramatic…they won my heart. For five days we talked, prayed, cried, and learned together…and they became my kids.

  To serve my spiritual kids, means leaving my own six kids.   One thing that was tugging at my heart was the realization that, no matter how wonderful the nanny’s that serve our children are; my kids still need their Mommy. Of course they miss their father, but dads are supposed to leave, to go off to work, that is just what dads do. Your mother, however,  is just supposed to be there, to make your dinner, and to hear about your day, to make you hot coco when it is cold outside. Mommies were created to kiss your boo-boos, the ones on your knees and the ones on your heart. I don’t think what you need from your mother ever really changes, all of this is just as important when you are six and when you are eighteen.

When Seth, Mike, and Gary all blessed my decision to travel less, and focus on my own children, I was relieved, and filled with grief. My little ones (Caleb and Noah) were thrilled that Mommy was not leaving them, my big kids did not say as much at the time, but my 17 year old “tough-guy” has been sending me “I love you Mom” text messages randomly throughout this week. 

 

I love teaching, I love traveling with my husband, I love the challenge, but mostly I love watching these kids come alive, and receive healing in their souls. I fear the racers will feel rejected by me, so many of them have been so hurt by leadership and mentors already. Not to mention, Gary and I are much more effective as a team than on our own. I know I am doing the right thing, but my heart still tugs.

I will feel torn either way.

This is the third time in my 18 years of mothering that God has asked me to lay down a dream, and serve my family. I am not sure what all this means, I am not sure why we have opportunities that seem like a gift from God, only to walk away from it, and serve HIM. in the most simple ways.  Maybe that is the point.
 


All I know is, I have fought hard for the health and the well being of the family that God has trusted me with, and as far as I know, I only get one shot….So I am going to serve them all day, everyday. I will cover them, physically and spiritually. I will go to every football game, and make Emilie tea after school, and kiss all the boo-boo’s, inside and out….the rest is out of my hands, which is probably for the best.

 

14 Comments

  1. Lisa, please know that I don’t feel ‘rejected’ by you for choosing your children over us. Your first priority has to be your family, and I am pretty sure I am not the only World Racer who understands this fact. We LOVE LOVE LOVE you, and we MISS YOU!! Not just because you balance out Gary… but because you are such an amazing and awesome Mother to all of us. I won’t lie, I do miss the comfort that you bring. But I know that you are right where you belong. If Noah and Caleb and Tyler are all to grow up and becoming amazing Men of God like their father, they are going to need your help! Your girls need you too. No one can do things ‘like Mom does’.

    We will see you when we see you next, and until then, know that you are in my heart and in my prayers, whether you are in the room with me, or you are halfway around the world. I love you!

  2. I don’t think people can be intimidated by you beacause they are too busy being in awe of you. Swept away in the beauty of a woman who is gorgeous by this worlds standards and STUNNING by Heavens standards.

    I LOVE this, Lisa. I zoned out half way through imagining all your beautiful (and crazy 😉 ) kids interacting with their Mommy. Bring on the booboos, they don’t stand a chance.

    I love you Mama!

  5. mama Lisa, of course we miss you a ton, but I think the love you have for your children, and what you put into your family makes me even more secure in your love of us. You are genuine in all things, we’ve been praying a double portion of protection over your family with Gary here, and we will continue to lift you up. I need a mama that follows God’s heart, thank you, love,
    Carly

  6. could not have said it better than the first 5 responses did. i echo every single one of their comments, and much more that cannot be expressed in words. you are incredible, i’m proud of you for making this decision – as bittersweet as it may have been, and if it’s possible, i love you even more. you are the most rockin mama this world could ever dream of.

  9. And from this Mom who has laid aside a few dreams and opportunities to stay home with my boys, with joy and gratitude for being allowed to be their Mom for this season, I know He blesses us far beyond what we even recognize, Lisa! I’ll be lifting you in prayer every now and again, as I make a batch of cookies to share with my boys, or sit and listen to questions and lessons. Let’s savor the moments we have!

  10. WOW…..YOU ARE ONE AMAZING WOMAN! I love you and respect you more and more each day! YOU ARE TRULY A GIFT FROM THE LORD TO ME!
    THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FOREVER FRIEND! Love being on this journey with you!

  12. I had to let go of a big dream just this week…. It hurt more than I can say. You have no idea how this blog posting ministered to me.

  13. Just got around to reading this after China. We love and miss you TONS, but are so thankful for the example you are setting for all of us when we have our own families. Thanks for sharing Gary with us last month!

    Love you!

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