so you think you’re a big man now?

 

Usually my son Tyler accompanies us on the hour and a half drive to Nsoko.  Today he had other plans, so Casey, Naomi, Alexis, Emilie and I headed down alone.  Nsoko is a rural and extremely impoverished area.  It is rarely visited by anyone, and it is not the most pleasant place to see.  It is desolate, it is hot and dirty.  It is also strangely enough, my favorite group of children.  These kids have absolutely stolen my heart, they are meek and precious, quiet and beautiful, and I love them.  Emilie worked with the kids on flash cards and ABC’s.  Casey danced and sang with them with an energy and passion that I greatly admire…Alexis, Naomi and I sat in the dirt with the babies, holding, rocking them and loving them.  Today for some reason there was only one GoGo, and only about forty kids, and an abundance of teenage and adult males.  This care point is notorious for “creepy guys”, and is top on our list for our guard program.  However, today was the first time I was actually a little nervous about the safety of the girls I brought with me as well as the children that live there.  The men desperately tried to get our attention, but we just ignored them, and eventually they moved on.  As white women, (right or wrong), there is still a certain fear or respect that keeps them from crossing the line.  I am sure my glaring right through them when they looked at my daughters sent a message as well.  Either way though, it is obvious, that fear or respect does not transfer over to the black women and girls.  They are objects, nothing more, nothing less.  I watched one little girl, about nine jump when one of the men tapped her head to get her attention.  The look on her face said it all, she was his victim, and she couldn’t wait for him to leave…(yes, I glared at him as well, if I was a superhero instead of a mere mortal, he would have turned to a pillar of salt!)  Literally five minutes later a gang of obnoxious teenage boys started hanging around asking for food.  Two of the boys would tap this same little girl on the head and face every time they walked by.  She was so frustrated, and so helpless.  I had a sleeping baby on my lap, so I shouted to them to stop.  “Don’t touch her” I said several times. The one boy smiled at me, not understanding English.  He bent down to where I was so he could hear what I was saying.   “DOOOON”TTT TOOOOUCH HEEER!” and without thinking (that’s my story and I’m stick in to it), I SLAPPED his face!  He couldn’t believe I slapped him.  Embarrassed, he looked at his buddies, and then they all walked away…Part of me couldn’t believe I slapped the little punks face either, and part of me wished I could take all the little men on.  This sweet little girl smiled for the first time since we had arrived, and smiled even bigger when I told her to punch them as hard as she could next time they mess with her.

  It is two in the morning and I cannot sleep, my blood is still pumping tonight while my family sleeps.  I am praying for all the little girls all over the world, and I am furious, frustrated and helpless….I think I shall start a “Slapping Ministry” until we can get all our programs in place and paid for….Wanna join???