Several years ago I was working as a counselor, at a center that I loved. My supervisor approached me about revamping one of our programs, and made me the project manager, along with a ‘wink, wink’ from her that said, “This will likely be a promotion to run this program as well.”  I worked tirelessly, every spare moment I invested into this project, it was truly a labor of love. They accepted all my ideas, thanked me for all my hard work, took my proposal to start implementing it immediately…Perfect! Except for one thing, the board decided to put this program under a different department that they thought was a better fit….not mine. As I opened my mouth the words “But that is MY program” came out, at the same moment I felt as if I had been picked up off the ground and slammed down on my butt. A nearly audible voice said “Excuse me Lisa-Marie, whose program is that???” It was the voice of God, a verbal spanking, reminding me that all the inspiration, the ideas, and the favor came from HIM, and it was His not mine.

Almost ten years later, I like to believe I have learned that lesson, and in many ways I have matured a great deal in this area. I really don’t care about recognition, I really just want the Lords Kingdom to come….but this week I am struggling with a bit of pain, and it is not just from the incisions due to surgery. 

While in Africa the Lord downloaded several ideas that I was honored to dream into being that would serve the community of Nsoko. I was so excited about this vision trip and have been planning it for months.  I

could not wait to show our participants, my people, my friends, and my community. I couldn’t wait to hold a two day workshop with the Go-Gos and the teachers, wash their feet, minister to them, bless them and feed them a special meal in their honor. I knew exactly what I was to teach on to encourage them and have had my notes ready, once again, for months. I was most excited that after a year of battles and set backs we would finally use the “I AM” boxes as a form of therapy and healing for the emotionally and spiritually wounded of the community.  I had started these projects, and now I would get to see them come to fruition…

It was not to be. My health had decided I would instead have major surgery, and be on pain meds and bed rest, not traveling, teaching or ministering, not doing what I had planned.

A call from the field made it abundantly clear that Gary, Pastor Gift, Seth and Karen were more than capable of making this vision trip a raging success. They are moving, building, ministering, and working hard. Things are happening, and all of it is very good. It turns out I had little to do with the success of this trip, it is all HIM. These are HIS people, HIS orphans, HIS widows…these are HIS children. He will accomplish what needs to be accomplished for His Kingdom to advance, He does not actually need us, and He just loves us enough to bless us by including us in HIS glory…pretty cool when you think of this that way, really…

Gary always says, “It is as it is supposed to be” and I do believe he is right, yet again.

This past week I have my precious friends bringing dinners, and I have had time to catch up with people I love,

and laugh until I think my stitches will pop. My children are treating me like a queen, caring for me, checking on me, and serving me.  My husband is desperately missing me, which can only be good! Kisses on my forehead from my sons, and snuggling with my daughters watching a chick-flick. Noah even sleeps on his dads side of the bed to "Batect" his mommy.  I have had a house full of teen agers until late into the night  which has been my favoriate form of entertainment,  and in turn I have gotten to know my children’s’ friends at a deeper level. I have had time to write, and time to read. I am missing my friends in Africa, but have loved every moment of this recovery with my kids, my parents and my friends, (okay not every minute, pain is well, PAIN!) Tomorrow is Tyler’s birthday, and we will be celebrating all weekend long, I am glad I am here for that, and so is he. Once again, I am glad I am not in control, I would just mess things up anyway!