Condition of a heart,
I was leaving a lunch date with one of my favorite couples, Steve and Nicole Brewer last Thursday, when my cell phone rang. It was Gary who had just left the parking lot minutes before me, “your dad was in an accident, go to Memorial right away, I am almost there”. That was the only information I had, and of course over the 15 minute drive every thought possible raced through my mind. It was after all my dads 66th birthday, and I was planning on meeting him that afternoon to look at IPods to help him make the best choice. My dad is a huge music lover, and Emilie and I were excited to organize his hundreds of CD’s for him.
Desperately, trying to drive the speed limit, my emotions went from tears and sadness to complete fear and panic, all the while praying, “Please God don’t take my Daddy, not yet, we are not ready!” Five minutes from the hospital I called Gary, “what do you know, is he okay?” Gary was steady as always, my rock, today and everyday. “I just prayed with him, he knew it was me, your mom is here, they are taking him to X-ray, all we know is he was hit by a woman, she was drunk.”
My sadness turned to rage, violent rage “make sure you keep her there Gary, I am pulling into the parking lot and I am coming to kick her BLEEP! If it were a man I would let you do it, but since it is a woman I will take care of it myself, who does she think she is trying to kill my dad!”
The front desk must have been warned a crazy lady was on the way, because they took one look at my tear stained face, red with anger, and walked me right back to my family.
My mother hugged me and let me cry, she was perfectly calm and graceful, answering questions from the police and nurses. Gary let me rage and told me firmly to get a grip, dad would be fine, and we were not going to kill anyone today. The woman had already been taken off to jail. My mother was asking questions about the woman and wondering if she was okay, then the police officer told us that he does not know how she even walked to her car to drive it, she was so drunk. My mother was concerned for this woman and how sad her life must be to drown herself in alcohol at one in the afternoon. Gary suggested we pray for her, my sweet husband, my compassionate mother….and me, fists still clenched, jaw tight, ready to swing at anything that moved, fully sarcastic I smiled, “yes, I will be sure to make her a casserole and pray for her the second she gets out of jail”
My dad is still hurting, his truck is trashed, he has not returned to work yet, this man has never stopped working since he was fourteen. We still have not celebrated his birthday. I don’t know the long term damage to his body; I don’t know what will become of this poor woman.
I do know that I have slept little since that day. I have been awake since three this morning. I was shown the condition of my heart, and it’s not pretty. What does it say when your first emotion is anger? My responds to this accident is saying volumes to me right now about who I am, and deliverance I need… there is some work to be done here, and I know the only One who can fix me, is more than capable and willing to fix me, but first I have to humble myself….I hope this confession is a first step…..
Lisa,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please give your parents our best. Remember “He/She who angers you controls you”. Let it go!
Love,
Rhonda, Mike & Kara
so glad he’s OK. thanks for the vulnerability. will pray.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Through my eyes (as one who will be following your lead) your “confession” makes you a stronger and more trusting leader. Wow! I’ll be chewing on this one for awhile. I am a daddy’s girl and I wonder what my response would be…hmmmm….
Lisa,
Know that I am praying for your father’s healing, for your heart, and for the lady that hit him. As your sister in Christ, I stand and pledge that I will intercede on your behalf. I encourage you to read Psalm 34.
Actually, you settled right down and are more healed and full of life then 99% of the people I know… thanks for being you, it’s pretty sexy!!
I echo Gary…most people would not see that anger at a drunk driver for hurting their beloved father was even a birds eye view into the condition of there heart. You are a GREAT example!! 🙂
Lisa,
I’m so honored to be discipled over the next year by a woman who is so honest and real. Your dad’s speedy recovery is in my prayers as well as guidance for figuring out where your heart’s at. Much love,
Carly
Lisa, I am so sorry about your dad, and so relieved that he is gonna be okay.
Thank you Lord for saving Lisa’s dad, and the woman who hit him. I know that you will continue to walk with both of them on their paths to recovery. Thank you that you are a God who heals, and that you can restore his body and repair any damage that was done.
Thank you Jesus that you also desire to heal that woman’s heart and to restore her life and redeem all that has been damaged and lost in her life. Let this accident be the motivation for her to seek after you and recieve your forgivness and salvation. Thank you that the accident involved a family that is devoted to you, so that you can be glorified. Give them all of the grace, patience, forgiveness and mercy they need in order to be a good witness of you.
God of all comfort, draw near to Lisa and the rest of the family and soften their hearts with your tenderness. Be the salve on their wounds that relieves the pain and brings healing. Do what you do best, and transform that wich is broken into something beautiful that reflects your glory.
Thank you for Lisa and her compassion and vulnerability. Thank you for who she is and what she models for all the eyes that watch her. Thank you for displaying your strength through her weakness. In Jesus name, Amen.
Kim – what a beautiful prayer. I agree and echo it with you in Jesus’ name!
Lisa – beautiful, passionate woman of God – I love your heart and am blessed by it. Thanks for your honesty! Praying for you and especially for your dad and the woman who hit him. I’m reminded today that we serve a God who can redeem ALL things, and ALL people!
Love you so much – sending a hug over the miles.
Lisa, I am glad he is ok!! I have been and will be praying for full restoration to come to his body. I love you and will be lifting you up in prayer as well!
mamma black-thank you for being you. i am gald to hear your daddy is ok.
i love you!
loving & praying you everyday. truly – EVERYday. you are beautiful, you are inspiring, and jesus radiates from deep inside of you.